Wednesday, April 10, 2013

You're Going to Get a Fat Ass

Mother was a tall, thin woman, except for her bootyliciousness. Apart from the lack of booty I'm built like Mother. She used to look at me and say with deadly sweetness in her melodic southern U.S.A. accent, "Wait till you're forty, you're going to get a fat ass."

In nine months and four days I'm going to be out of my forties and, so far, my ass has decreased rather than increased. It's become a pancake and redistributed itself onto saddle-bags and a muffin top instead. I know that, at this point, my friends reading this are guffawing into their coffees, wondering where these saddle-bags and muffin top are.

I'm not saying I'm fat - far from it. It's just that I've reached an age where the body distributes things differently. It's not a problem for me because I know that I exercise and eat very well and Husband still finds me attractive. Consequently, I have no desire to try to fight middle-age.

Recent photos have revealed to me, however, that perhaps it's time to stop wearing tight t-shirts. Sadly, that's pretty much all I had...until today. I drove to a local shopping centre to use their branch of my credit union and walked the short distance to a Salvos shop. Fellow blogger, The Book Addict, commented about "incidental exercise" yesterday on my post. I got some of that and bought three new (to me) tops. They're looser than I've been wearing without the need for a Demis Roussos kaftan.

Later I drove to Marion to run more errands. I parked near the entrance in the underground carpark to be in the shade. After finishing there I did more incidental exercise, walking across the rather large carpark to the library. While I was over there I visited Gallery M where I found a wonderful Bat Mitzvah present for a young friend. Then I walked back to the car feeling self-righteous about how I had done my bit to save the environment and gotten some exercise in the process.



  1. According to my mainstream U.S. doctor, there is no such thing as incidental exercise. Checking in for a visit last year, nurse takes weight, B.P., etc, and routinely asks "do you exercise?" I told her that in the course of my job I can walk as much as five miles in a day.

    "Oh, that doesn't count," she sez. "Only walking that raises your heart rate for twenty minutes without stopping has any value as exercise."

    Boy, egg on my face! Just hope it's from a free range chicken...

    1. I think there are two schools of thought on that one. I read a lot about diet and exercise and, from what I've read, any movement is good movement and counts. It is important to raise your heart rate but incidental movement contributes to the 10k steps we should all be taking each day. The problem these days is that we're too sedentary and, apparently if you exercise but spend the rest of your time sitting on your ass - pancake or otherwise - it's still a dangerous way to live. Confused??? Me too!

  2. Oh, I feel your pain...that different re-distribution of things...oh yes! I'm doomed to the fat ass - it's a family thing. But, as I said to a girlfriend on Monday, because the sun WILL keep rising and falling and the days WILL pass, I AM going to turn 50 later this year, and my promise to myself is to do it with a flat tummy! The tuchos I can deal with, the tummy I can't!

    1. Yay, roll on 50, whatever the size and shape of your ass!